Reflective Essay

Reflective Essay

This is the first time I've had to do a retrospective on a subject where my initial opinion of it changed dramatically from the beginning. 

Before this assignment documentaries where a thing I just couldn't get into. I live with the belief that reality is boring and that no one pays for reality. Maybe it says more about me than it does the world around me though. The fact is I always saw documentaries as pieces of media based in reality and I always assumed that reality no matter how pretty it looks through a camera lens is still boring.

But watching films like Nostalgia For The Light. A film about how the atrocities committed through the will of one man can linger for years and even if the stars provide hope someone has to stay on the ground and live with the despair. Watching that showed me that yes my reality is boring but I'm alive and I've got a family that's fully intact something that the people in this film don't.

Searching For The Sugarman taught me another part about reality but it also taught me if you do it right you can make a reality with a plot twist straight out of The Following. In regards to the bit about reality it taught me you can go from amazing to musician, to unknown icon, to family man and then back to amazing musician and you can be happy no matter what. 

As for making my own documentary I can use one word to describe it: Painful. I may have found a new appreciation for the genre but if asked to make another I'll gladly say goodbye to everyone I know and flee to Canada.

Maybe it was the setbacks in regards to subjects and locations, maybe it was a teammate justifiably going off on one every ten minutes and ruling through fear like Doctor Doom mixed with a care bear , Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't in this for any other reason than that I was just there and my team-mates were the ones who had all the enthusiasm (at first at least). 

Teamwork was a vital part in all this, is what I would say if it was honestly true but it isn't. I worked a camera as I was expected and intended to do but also bought some props and a £30 mirror. Our producer produced, got an interviewee, a interview location, clothing for the drag queen experiment, make up and a wig. In regards to our director he set up the stage and this is where the crickets chirp. I consider my contributions paltry at best but I can say I contributed more than he ever did.

 From a learning standpoint I can't really say for sure. I now know how to shoot a documentary effectively but the fact is I can't say why you use certain shots or why some things work better than others. I'm a grunt, I do grunt work, I do what's expected of me without questioning but you're asking too much if you expect me too use my own creative initiative. 

Speaking of that last bit of the paragraph above it applies not just to filming but also to editing. Editing software is something I can operate and for the most part I know what I'm doing but again I lack creative input or an idea of how and where to start. It's safe to say that I'm a technical worker rather than a creative one when it comes to camera and editing.

Though for all the above criticisms I think I can say it wasn't that bad an experience. I definitely had fun whilst filming thanks to our interviewee having a sense of humour. I just wish I hadn't got lost on the way to the house where the interview took place so I learned my sense of direction is awful too. I've improved with a camera and I've found an appreciation for the way documentaries are shot and made and the hurdles that people have to overcome to bring their visions to life. So for that I guess I can say reality isn't always boring but it's what you make of it and what you find in it.

Documentary Entry 11

Before I started doing this class a sentence I never uttered (because it wouldn't make sense to at any point and even in its current context it's still pretty weird) would have been "I never thought I'd see a documentary with a plot twist".

Now thanks to the phenomenal Searching For the Sugarman and this film Stories We Tell by Sarah Polley I can list two documentaries with plot twists. See before I started this class I always assumed that documentaries being based in the realm of reality (a place I'm growing to tolerate more as I watch these) and thus didn't have room for the
sort of elements featured in fiction.

For crying out loud Sugarman stretched the boundaries to begin with but the film built up to the reveal so well you'd think Christopher Nolan had done it.
Of course this film (and Sugarman too actually) don't go for the shocked squirrel Hollywood approach mainly because as I've said documentaries are based in the realm of reality and in the realm of reality most people don't react the way they do in films unless they're on American news, won an American game show or are in fact American.

The plot twist about Sarah's biological father isn't treated like some Breaking Bad shocking swerve there's no bouts of denial, no tears, no thrown arguments or anything like that. And yet it actually invokes a better reaction and likely because of it too because the emotion is real and tears crocodilian or otherwise aren't needed. A viewer can see the anguish there in front of them. Something a lot of film directors could probably learn to work with cause it's a hell of a lot better than "you are sad, this scene indicates you are sad, make a sad face"

It's a haunting reveal and probably hits harder with someone older than me (I'm only 19 so I haven't really learned which facet of reality of despise the least) and it makes one question the selfs around them because the film gives no indication of the route it's about to take and when it does it hits like a punch to the gut.

The fact that this whole thing is being narrated by the man who up until that point we the audience believed to be Sarah's father makes it even worse.
On a final note. Well done to Sarah Polley for this. This is one of the best ways you do the shocking swerve nowadays because it's a shocking swerve. There's a power to it and it's great because of it not in spite of it.

Documentary Entry 10

The documentary is finally shot and miraculously doesn't look absolutely awful. After several hours of nervous fidgeting, expenses and being yelled at a lot I can safely it turned out just alright.
I gotta lot of (in my opinion) very good shots of the makeup that was used in the film and transformation process (thanks to Anya(please don't kill me) Patton) who spent the money on it and most of it didn't get used.

A few shots dragged on a bit which is admittedly my fault because I was nervous and unsure about what I should be doing until Anya(fussy mother that she is) told me that I should just let the shot linger rather than just have movement for no reason.

The lighting and the set itself played a central part in how good it turned out so credit has to be given where credit is due to both Aidan for the set decorations and Anya for the lighting.

I'm actually proud of the shots of the set most of all especially of the lights that were used admittedly they don't play a massive part in the documentary but I still like them.

As for the actual interview itself this was a less strenuous experience mainly because time was thankfully not of the essence. Admittedly I got lost on the way there because I have no sense of direction and get lost insanely easy but setbacks are setbacks so they need to be overcome no matter what. 

The interview was very relaxed and I played a minimal part in it as unlike with the shoot the camera had zero movement and Glenn simply had to sit and talked while I made sure the camera didn't slip. It took a while but I also had to get footage of Glenn's hands which I did, a whole 5 minutes of footage. 

Overall I enjoyed working on both the drag shoot and the actual interview they were strenuous at times but I'm satisfied nonetheless.

 

Documentary Entry 9

An alternative title for this entry could be: The Embodiment of Fear: Anya Patton. In the space of 4 hours productivity skyrocketed. Shot list have been drawn up and so have storyboards (something I haven't done in at least two years at this point).
We've made a lot of progress in the last few days and I personally feel more confident about my role in this project as a whole. Most of this confidence was originally fear reshaped. Fear of our producer Anya.

With a better grasp on what was expected of me and I had to admit I was ready for it now more than ever. And I also have a better understanding of the theme of the documentary and am actually proud of a point I raised (Anya will back me up on me saying this):

"As eyes are the windows of the soul, hands are akin to the tools of the soul as we can learn nearly everything about a person from their hands. Their gender, their hygiene, how hard they work etc."

I'm actually reminded of a scene from one of my favourite movies Drive. When the main protagonist the Driver meets the mob boss paying for his racing business he decides against shaking the boss's hand saying his hands are dirty (literally he was wiping oil from a car of his hands) the mob boss replies with:"don't worry. So are mine" it's a good line to show the implications of the mob boss's work as there is a lot of metaphorical blood on his hands.

I found myself pleasantly surprised that I get to keep my philosophical style going in this blog. Most of they is due to my own keen interest in that area of media but also thanks to our producer Anya who has found the perfect motivational balance between friendship and absolute terror.

I'll actually tell a fun story relevant to the documentary. Anya asked me a few days in advance to meet up in Belfast on Saturday to discuss my role and what I need done. I was in work and I was already tired when I heard on the news there was trouble in town. I pondered cancelling when a question hit me in the head: What am I more afraid of, An angry Anya or a group of rioters? For those of you with short term memory the question was rhetorical and the answer was the former.

Overall it's been pretty productive since my last update. The documentary itself is being filmed (more on that later) and despite my nerves I finally feel like I understand all this rather than just following orders without question.

Documentary Entry 8

Rodriguez the Sugarman.
Searching for the Sugarman is a fascinating film that drew me in from the word go. It's well shot, the soundtrack is amazing, the people involved in this film are all likeable and the film as a whole draws you into its world with ease.

The film does something that earns it praise: it makes me want to know more about this man Rodriguez, it makes want to know his story from start to finish, to hear his music, to know where he's been and what he did, the film shows all this but it still leaves me wanting more.
The film treats the mystery man Rodriguez like some sort of folk legend and sells the fact that no one knew anything about this man other than that he was an amazing musician.

The film emphasises that Rodriguez was a champion in South Africa during the days of Apartheid. His music made him a household name to the people. He played his part in a revolution.
His music drew people to him but they knew nothing about the man behind the music. They wanted to know this man but Apartheid's influence made that impossible. They had one record and even then the government scratched up the vinyls simply to block off that one song.

And then things get interesting, well more interesting. The film basically says that Rodriguez is dead via suicide, specifically by setting himself on fire on stage when a performance was going south, or at least that's what the rumours say.

In an amazing plot twist (yes a plot twist in a documentary based on reality) it turns out Rodriguez is alive and well living an ordinary life. That's right, the man this film made a legend is still alive.
Rodriguez as it turns out is a simply man with a wife and kids, does menial labour and whilst the music scene passed him over he holds no grudge and just sees it as a fun part of his life from a long time ago. Heck he doesn't even know about how a big star he is in South Africa!

There is the moment when Rodriguez and his daughters disembarked from their plane at the Cape Town airport, there on the strange invitation to play there after years of considering himself washed up as a musician. As they were walking on the tarmac, they saw group of limousines and naturally thought they were for some dignitary and they tried to get out of the way. They were wrong, those limos, and the reporters and fans, were for them. In the animated sequence, you can get the sheer astonishment going through Rodriguez's mind at seeing a long dead artistic dream has come spectacularly true after all.

To be honest the film is amazingly heartwarming and one of the last bits in the film has the line American Zero South African Hero. And that one line says it all.

And that right there is proof of this films quality it tells us everything we need to know and leaves us wanting to know more. When a film does something like that nothing needs to be said and those that disagree nothing can be said to change their minds.

Documentary Entry 7

Assessing Encounters at The End of The World is a difficult enough task normally. The additional difficultly of knowing Roger Ebert, a man I have equal reason to hate and respect has said his piece on it makes it what was already a Herculean task now a harder version as somebody else has already done it.

Ebert was a man who had controversial opinions towards things I like particularly video games and there role in art and human emotion, to say we strongly disagreed would be an understatement. But regardless our contrasting opinions there's one thing I'll say about Ebert: he knew what he was doing and if you're not trying to reach Ebert's level you might as well call it quits now.
The fact is I'm not Roger Ebert(at least not in reality) so anything I can say Ebert's already said and done better. Not that I'm not gonna try though I may have utmost respect for the man but he still said things I didn't like.

Right away there's a lot to say about this film. The director Werner Herzog narrates the film and his voice has a certain grab to it that whenever he speaks you as a viewer are drawn to listen. He could be doing the stock check at a supermarket and you'd be drawn into it all (something I call the Morgan Freeman Effect).

Werner has a knack for wonderful shots and it certainly helps he's got an impressive location to work with, he takes what could possibly be the world's worst holiday resort and turns into amazing scenery that takes the breath away.

On top of that Werner's got a unique of invoking emotions from an entity that I wouldn't really expect in a non fiction setting, in this case: a suicidal penguin. The punchline is that the scene with the penguin is surprisingly tragic as Werner makes it clear that this penguin is obsessed with going away from his chums and even if humans did intervene he'd just keep going on a journey he'll never finish.

To reiterate, I'm mourning the loss of a suicidal penguin! (Plus that documentary is 6years old if that penguins still alive now I think we've found the next superior species!)
In the end, Encounters At the End of the World is an interesting experience. It takes advantage of its location and the people in it, it looks amazing for a 3 man project and the narrator clearly cares about the subject dearly and delivers his narration in a way that draws you in from the word go. Overall, very good stuff well worth watching.

Documentary Entry 6

So today I had my first practice session with a camera. One word comes to mind to define it: wreck.

As it turns out not working with a device you actually have zero interest in working with means you tend to forget everything about it. I'll admit I still remember how to do certain things but I don't remember why you do them (though chances are I never learned in the first place).

I get that the rule of thirds exist but I'll be damned if I have a clue why it exists. Yes I understand that it forces a viewer to focus and find that a spot not in the middle but the fact that I had to look up why shows and says a lot.

I get that you don't have your character in the centre of a shot cause it looks really weird but that's about all I get. I follow the rules but I don't really understand them.

To make matters worse after hearing absolutely nothing for a week (to the point the group had declared the chance of interviewing the subject stone dead) we finally get an update saying that it's okay.

Two things disturb me about this: The first is the short notice and the second is the fact that I'm not ready for this. I can't relearn 3 years of work in a day/possibly 2 days.
In summation I need more time.

I need more time to practice and relearn what I've forgotten going over notes is fine and all but actual practice is needed and the idea that I can learn what I need in a day or two is laughable at best.